"Brand me, sayang...if u dare!"
I have always been reluctant to write about my work. When my former course mates ask me about the programs I organize or people I met when I am doing my job, my defense radar automatically yells “EVADE THE QUESTION”. I am not some reserved demure woman who keeps her mouth shut. I have my other half to guarantee that, I tell ya. Its just that talking about my work is painful. It cruelly evokes unwanted issues, which could be reliable entry points for me to quarrel with my friends, mostly corporate (pronounced keparat) lawyers nowadays. When I first entered S*****, the fact that I am a law graduate warranted enough curiosity for people to bombard me with endless questions.
There is nothing special with my work. U can call me a first class busy body. Ever poking my penyek nose into stuffs that don’t concern me at all.The work is damn strenuous and enduringly slow if you want to see the tangible results. But hey, I love it!
“ Mana dia gaya lawyer awak?” A senior colleague asked with raised eyebrow ala Ziana Zain.
“Huh?” (Read: WTF) I was damn confused. As far as I remember, there was no specific lesson on specific styles for lawyers during my LLB years. In case you wonder where do all the lawyers learned their snob looks and haughty pouts, there was no class on that either, THAT, my friends, comes naturally to them.
“Gaya lawyer tu apa kak?” I asked back, appealing for a straight answer.
“Banyak cakap, cakap pun speaking mat salleh jer, suka argue tak habis-habis…..”
Me and my big mouth. Apparently she owns a Dummies Guide To Lawyer`s Personality.
As u can see, labeling has always been easy. Understanding the point of labeling is the complicated part. I was glad I failed the lawyer-profiling test that my senior colleague put me through. Looking or acting the part of some brand or labels that people throw at you is pretty boring. Worse still, it violates the right to be original. The right to deny peoples the pleasure of stereotyping you. The right not to conform. You see, I could be wearing a tudung/scarf/turban, but at the same time, don't give me the slack look because I think Salman Rushdie is making a point.
During one of my flight trips, a sexy Malay girl in pink tube and floral skirt who was sitting next to me received a “Good Morning and may I help you” from the Stewardass.. I on the other hand, get the “Selamat Pagi” and “boleh saya bantu cik”. Bahasa Kebangsaan campaigners may pat my back for having such aura to persuade peeps speaking in malay with me. I will give 2 ½ stars for that assumption. My guess is... my scarf, had some unknown supernatural power that prohibited the Stewardass from speaking in English with me. So, wearing the jilbab is a signal that I might have trouble speaking in English? If only I could tell the stewardass how I love Anthony Burgess and William S.Burrough `s stuffs ! But then again, I might need to explain who those two are before I tell him how much I loved their work.
Like it or not, we get labels everyday. If you read Amanat Haji Hadi, you get the you-are-a-PAS-sympathizer look. If you say “Way to go, Chavez!”, then you are a lefty, If you wear black t-shirts, you are some deviant black metal fan ( I like black t-shirts by the way, they make me look 6 kilos less). Try to be a smartass and explain yourself, then you are a dissenting social outcast coz you don’t act like the scheme and uphold "the way of the majority", you can’t be compartmentalized under any labels, therefore you are “The Other”. I call it a meaningless attempt at social efficiency. Social Efficiency, my foot. We are imperfect potential sinners since Adam and Eve not some robots programmed to follow dogmatic manuals.
Even worse, labels evolve into socially construct prisons. Seeking for willing prisoners. There are people who loved the attention or limelight these labels offer. Sadly, there are people persecuted or tortured because of the labels.
Branding people or in other words, social conditioning is rampant in the course of my work. We brand minorities as sad case, so we offer welfare instead of justice. We brand dependency as empowerment so we lead on and never let go, we define politics as partisan and ignore masses collective power, we brand opposition as disloyalty, dissent as chaos. In the end, labels rule. In the end, we succumbed to the empty meanings of these brands and make fatal positions. When I first had to go to a rural Semai village in Perak, the members of the community thought I wanted to convert them coz I am wearing the scarf. I didn’t blame them. Conversion is a painful experience to some of them and my Muslim image brought back some of these memories. Didn’t blame them at all.
I almost fall into the trap of social brands. Correction…. already had. I used to view getting myself branded or “berteduh” under some labels offered me a significant association to life. Wrong enough, I don’t need others’ confirmation to run my short life. I will run it, with my scars, acne…imperfect and all. Coz I hate the fact that I have to choose between two roads, two brands-Tweedledum and Tweedledee . I want more roads to travel, unnoticed and without any fucking brands!
Labeling, branding, social conditioning...samalah tu!
Glossary –
S****** : A place where I am stuck in.
WTF : The formal polite abbreviation for “What The Fuck”
Tweedledum and Tweedledee: Duh…don’t you read Alice in The Wonderland at all?
There is nothing special with my work. U can call me a first class busy body. Ever poking my penyek nose into stuffs that don’t concern me at all.The work is damn strenuous and enduringly slow if you want to see the tangible results. But hey, I love it!
“ Mana dia gaya lawyer awak?” A senior colleague asked with raised eyebrow ala Ziana Zain.
“Huh?” (Read: WTF) I was damn confused. As far as I remember, there was no specific lesson on specific styles for lawyers during my LLB years. In case you wonder where do all the lawyers learned their snob looks and haughty pouts, there was no class on that either, THAT, my friends, comes naturally to them.
“Gaya lawyer tu apa kak?” I asked back, appealing for a straight answer.
“Banyak cakap, cakap pun speaking mat salleh jer, suka argue tak habis-habis…..”
Me and my big mouth. Apparently she owns a Dummies Guide To Lawyer`s Personality.
As u can see, labeling has always been easy. Understanding the point of labeling is the complicated part. I was glad I failed the lawyer-profiling test that my senior colleague put me through. Looking or acting the part of some brand or labels that people throw at you is pretty boring. Worse still, it violates the right to be original. The right to deny peoples the pleasure of stereotyping you. The right not to conform. You see, I could be wearing a tudung/scarf/turban, but at the same time, don't give me the slack look because I think Salman Rushdie is making a point.
During one of my flight trips, a sexy Malay girl in pink tube and floral skirt who was sitting next to me received a “Good Morning and may I help you” from the Stewardass.. I on the other hand, get the “Selamat Pagi” and “boleh saya bantu cik”. Bahasa Kebangsaan campaigners may pat my back for having such aura to persuade peeps speaking in malay with me. I will give 2 ½ stars for that assumption. My guess is... my scarf, had some unknown supernatural power that prohibited the Stewardass from speaking in English with me. So, wearing the jilbab is a signal that I might have trouble speaking in English? If only I could tell the stewardass how I love Anthony Burgess and William S.Burrough `s stuffs ! But then again, I might need to explain who those two are before I tell him how much I loved their work.
Like it or not, we get labels everyday. If you read Amanat Haji Hadi, you get the you-are-a-PAS-sympathizer look. If you say “Way to go, Chavez!”, then you are a lefty, If you wear black t-shirts, you are some deviant black metal fan ( I like black t-shirts by the way, they make me look 6 kilos less). Try to be a smartass and explain yourself, then you are a dissenting social outcast coz you don’t act like the scheme and uphold "the way of the majority", you can’t be compartmentalized under any labels, therefore you are “The Other”. I call it a meaningless attempt at social efficiency. Social Efficiency, my foot. We are imperfect potential sinners since Adam and Eve not some robots programmed to follow dogmatic manuals.
Even worse, labels evolve into socially construct prisons. Seeking for willing prisoners. There are people who loved the attention or limelight these labels offer. Sadly, there are people persecuted or tortured because of the labels.
Branding people or in other words, social conditioning is rampant in the course of my work. We brand minorities as sad case, so we offer welfare instead of justice. We brand dependency as empowerment so we lead on and never let go, we define politics as partisan and ignore masses collective power, we brand opposition as disloyalty, dissent as chaos. In the end, labels rule. In the end, we succumbed to the empty meanings of these brands and make fatal positions. When I first had to go to a rural Semai village in Perak, the members of the community thought I wanted to convert them coz I am wearing the scarf. I didn’t blame them. Conversion is a painful experience to some of them and my Muslim image brought back some of these memories. Didn’t blame them at all.
I almost fall into the trap of social brands. Correction…. already had. I used to view getting myself branded or “berteduh” under some labels offered me a significant association to life. Wrong enough, I don’t need others’ confirmation to run my short life. I will run it, with my scars, acne…imperfect and all. Coz I hate the fact that I have to choose between two roads, two brands-Tweedledum and Tweedledee . I want more roads to travel, unnoticed and without any fucking brands!
Labeling, branding, social conditioning...samalah tu!
Glossary –
S****** : A place where I am stuck in.
WTF : The formal polite abbreviation for “What The Fuck”
Tweedledum and Tweedledee: Duh…don’t you read Alice in The Wonderland at all?
posted by GEE at 9:21 AM
1 Comments:
i'm sure you're not the only one that complains about being branded...doesn't matter what race creed nor religion...branding will always be present. kudos to you!
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