Maternal Instinct Pt.2

"First trimester is gonna be a bit hard, take care!"
"Take more minerals and calcium in your diet"
"If you walk ah, walk you know, don't run like you used to do, got baby inside"
"Take more veggie, get baby girl, take more meat, get baby boy tau!"

Being preggy obviously turning me into a walking digital recorder. Whenever I bumped into anyone who know the news, a new advice willl surely popped from their mouth and I will push my "RECORD" button while displaying a grateful+annoying smile. If only I am more cycnically enteprising, I would have compiled all the advices and produced a book entitled 365 Advices For Mom To Be. Unfortunately, I am not. And the reason is because I am soooo sick.

An hour after the doc congratulated Union Guy and me for our first baby, my body went into a rampant biological warfare. Nausea, fever, coughing fit plus my waist ached whole day long when in fact I was naturally healthy, nice and sweet before we met the doc. Its like all my body cells were waiting at the bringe while chanting "say it, doc! say it doc! we can't wait to go crazy".
As for eating, what do you mean eating? Whatever I take for the past 3 weeks only qualified as nibbling, slurping or sipping. The very sight of anything fried or deep fried kills me. Don't even start on the smell of my neigbours "menumis" during lunch. I could be seen running into my bedroom, hiding under the blanket as I can puke at the very smell of 'tumisan". The tom yam seller near to our home has been having friendly chat with Union Guy after how many nights in the row, all I could eat is tom yam. He might be trying to talk my hubby into entering a 8 month contract of tomyam supply for dinner, for all I know.

Throughout my ordeal, I kept on whispering to the RM1 sized embryo in my womb, "It has been hell for the first 3 months, please be a nice nice boy or girl when you come out," I wonder if that was what Richard Hell 's mom told him when he was still an embryo inside her. Hmm...

Me & My Maternal Instinct

I wonder why I was oversensitive, getting cramps, snappy, has sudden love for asam bois and again, snappy throughout the week.
Then, I saw two red vertical lines. Two very important lines. Can it be?
I am going to see the doctor tonight (as if seeing a doctor is a rare occassion for me).
I think I am going to be a mom.
: )

Spongebob Squarepant Banned?

Yup, folks. I was always curious of whether behind that cute innocent spongey persona, there's more to those squarepants he wore. Is he even a gay for spending too much time with Patrick? His jelly fish hunting- can that amounts to a violent activity ? But, oh well, I think our moral guardians have THAT sorted out. 2 of Spongebob books are on the list of books restricted by KND Johor Bahru. Interestingly, despite being banned, you get to catch him speaking funny Malay on TV9 everyday at 5.30 pm right from your couch.

The key point is this-our moral guardians obsession with bizarre and silly censorship are just getting dumber by the moment. Ops, forget to tell you, No.34 on the list is "MUSIC FOR SLEEPY BABIES". Just because of one man 's view that these books will erode our moral values, he thinks everyone is just as shallow and dimwit as he is. A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E D-I-S-C-R-E-T-I-O-N, the Ministry call it, A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E S-T-U-P-I-D-I-T-Y, it is to me.

If I get to the more serious point, it is also damn annoying that authors like Kahlil Gibran, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Anthony Burgee and Salman Rushdie also got axed for their great literature works. "Midnight Children" is placed higher in the wanted list than a book called The Swimming Pool Library (maybe there are pics of half nude chicks lazing around the pool, but so what? we get that in MANGA all the time!) and also a hardcover entitled "The Best Sex Positions Ever". And we wonder why more couples lack additonal resources in improving their sexual life.

You know what? Give us a break. It's enough that you think we are a sinful bunch of people thinking of sex, drugs and plans to topple the government 24/7, now you think our choice of reading need to be monitored just because of your insecurity? Democratically, oh-negara-tercinta, give it a rest. Or don't ever talk about building civil society. Because its like trying to talk about errrr...building a skycrapper in the Neolitic era!