Sense & Sexuality

Yesterday, NST covered the unwanted babies issue. Further story, right here.
Last week, I think, a research by USM reveals that half of university students are sexually active and 8 out of 10 do not wear contraceptives.

Question 1:

If we were to have our angry fix, what would our justifications be? Angry that young girls are having sex before marriage or angry that young women are having unsafe sex?

Question 2:

If having sex (safe or unsafe) outside of wedlock is non-negotiable to the society, are we actually confronting social stigma or adolescence ignorance? If the later is the factor, will by having shelters to accomodate single mothers enough to curb this problem? If the former is the problem, will the unwed mothers find solace and peace after she delivered her baby and return to the society? Or she will forever be marked as gatal and dirty? Perhaps, the pressure of being forever remembered as THAT pushed the young women off the edge and wrongly presents them with only one "safe" conclusion - abortion or infanticide. As we all now, social persecution more often then not, are more bitter and bloodier than any form of punitive measures.

I am not a sexologist, sex scientist or some certified doctor love. Its a sad cliche that a lot of young people takes sex as a manifestation of love although I can guarantee you a lot more finds it a a satisfying act in the absence of love or any tangible sentimentality towards the other. A lot of young woman opted for sexual act due to uninformed choices and consent (re: "jomlah, kita buat dulu, i janji i akan kahwin dengan you" OR "kondom? what do you mean kondom, mana ada "rasa"!) Few I believe would rather approach sex with both brain and heart. Be it as one night stands or as a sign of commitment.

Sex is a subject the Asian society finds personal and non-discussable. Ironically, the aftermath of sexual implications quickly becomes an object of commercial franchise in the media or publicly-owned news despite it being a discreet private topic at first. It can't be help that the voyeuristic tendencies (even before the era of video or web cams, we have the peeping toms and marys urban, suburb and rural) of our society increase the demand for this kind of news. As the result,we embrace both worlds in confusion-to see sex as a dirty thing meant for "bilik tidur" and at the same time to enjoy sex in the form of gossips, news and pornography without realizing that we are not doing "sex" any favour when we limit our understanding of sex and sexuality to these kind of outputs only. In the end, I would call ourselves, suppressed, vulnerable and desperate.

To me, what happens now is not a sign of God`s wrath that more young people sees themselves as potential sex machines as some would be quick to admit. Lets leave our judgemental coats behind and see this issue as an opportunity to improve our society`s perception on sex. There is this one Chinese word that I love- "Wei Ji". It means "crisis" but the 2 Chinese characters that formed the word means both Danger (Wei) and Opportunity (Ji). What wisdom!

I am all for sexual education and although I know there is a mention of sexual health in the school education, sexual education should also generate discussions on real issues that young people are facing. If we were to have sexual education, I hope the pool of teachers and trainers responsible for the subject will be open-minded and understanding enough to free themselves from any sort of judgements and pre-conceived notions about young people and their approach to sex. Its not about imposing how young people should approach sex but its about ensuring that they are well-informed before making choices where sex is concern.

What will be even better is if sexual education be seen as a platform to deconstruct social perceptions on sex not only for children and young people but also parents and adults. If only we could trust our young generation with knowledge and understanding of sex , perhaps they and also us could approach "sex" with both brain and heart.